Sometimes love looks like someone washing your hair in a sink.
Those of you who have been with me a long time know that in 2022, two years after my husband Brace was healed from terminal cancer, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
I had a full mastectomy.
And after surgery, they put in tubes.
It was not my favorite chapter.
They would not let me shower.
They would not let me exercise.
And honestly, not showering may have been one of the hardest parts. 😄
So I went to Chuck.
Chuck is our wonderful hairdresser in Lake Forest. Brace loves him because he can call and say, “Chuck, I want to come down,” and somehow Chuck just makes it happen.
Hairdressers do not usually work that way.
But Chuck does.
And after my surgery, Chuck washed my hair in his sink.
It was such a simple act. But it meant so much.
It reminded me that sometimes what we need most is not a huge rescue.
Sometimes we just need someone to notice.
Someone to care.
Someone to help us through the next small thing.
I have been thinking a lot about that lately because for the last year, I have been studying the brain.
How it remembers. How it sorts experiences.
How it labels events as good, bad, safe, dangerous, painful, or peaceful.
And how those labels can affect the way we see everything else.
One thing I heard this week really stayed with me:
“A memory without emotion is wisdom.”
I love that.
Because I could look back at breast cancer and let that memory be full of fear.
But I do not.
I look back and feel grateful.
Grateful I had amazing insurance.
Grateful I had excellent doctors.
Grateful we caught it before it became stage 3 or stage 4.
Grateful that now I can sleep at night knowing it is not a problem.
That does not mean it was easy.
It means I have chosen to let that memory become wisdom instead of fear.
And I think we all have memories like that.
Moments that were hard.
Moments that scared us.
Moments that our brain labeled as dangerous or painful.
But sometimes, with love, support, and a new perspective, those memories can lose their sharp edge.
They can become part of our wisdom.
Not something that controls us.
Something that teaches us.
That is the work I am so excited about right now — helping people discover the moments from the past that may still be carrying a charge, and learning how to neutralize them so that past no longer runs the show.
Because the mind and body are deeply connected.
And when we can look back with peace, we can move forward with more freedom.
So today…
I am grateful for Chuck.
I am grateful for kind people.
I am grateful for healing.
And I am grateful for the chance to keep learning how powerful our memories really are.
Here’s to neutralizing the hard things. Here’s to finding the wisdom.
And here’s to having faith in humanity again.
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P.S. A memory without emotion is wisdom. That may be one of my favorite thoughts of the year. 💜
